Fast Twitch -- Not done yet

I'm going through withdrawal.

I can't believe three months of intense training and my two shave meets are behind me. When I started this blog, I never thought this moment would come. Twelve weeks seemed so far away.

Now that the meets are over, I think I need some closure.

Is it because I didn't swim as well as I hoped to in the 100 breast finals last night? What would have happened if I had a bigger lunch, been able to nap better and been a little less relaxed? Would I have swum faster?

I've learned not to dwell on such things, but every swimmer faces what-ifs in their lives. I always try to get rid of them quickly. I always wondered what would have happened at worlds last summer if I took better care of myself the day of the 100 breast. I wonder what I could have done in the 100 back in Federal Way if I had nailed my last turn.

I think these things are naturally going to linger in my mind. And it's never hard to shake off. But I will manage to do it as the week wears on. The more I stay away from the pool, the easier it will be to focus on other stuff.

By the way, the Arizona Daily Star did a nice story on the meet. Since I work for the Star, I wouldn't have been able to be a part of the story, even if I broke more records and overshadowed the much more successful swimmers at the meet. Maybe that's it. Maybe I just wanted a little more recognition than I got. Maybe I'm not just happy with the back-slapping I got last night. Maybe I want my name plastered on every newspaper in town: "Old guy takes down young guns."

Maybe the meet just ended on such a quiet note that doesn't usually happen in masters. Maybe I am a little more narcissistic than I believe I am. Maybe it is all about me.

I really don't know what this says about myself. I don't think I'm a bad person for wanting so much adulation to come my way. Every athlete likes the spotlight.

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